How to talk to your family about money

Money can be one of the hardest things to talk about – even within families. But being open about wealth and financial planning is increasingly important, particularly as households face rising costs, longer life expectancy and the growing need to support multiple generations.

As Wealth Planners, we often meet clients who want to feel more in control of their finances – not just for their own peace of mind, but to provide security and opportunity for the people they care about. One of the most powerful ways to do that is to start talking about money more openly with family. 

Wealth planning is more than just the numbers

When clients first come in for advice, they often arrive with a single financial objective in mind – perhaps looking for help with a pension, or with investing a lump sum. But as conversations progress, it often becomes clear that these financial goals sit within a broader context. Financial planning is ultimately about understanding a client’s life – their relationships, values and aspirations – and working out how their wealth can support that bigger picture.

In almost every case, family becomes a central part of the conversation. Immediate needs might include school fees, while longer-term planning often involves inheritance, the cost of care for elderly relatives, or helping younger generations onto the property ladder. Others may have charitable goals they want to explore or wish to create something meaningful that reflects their family values.

In all these instances, understanding the emotional drivers behind financial decisions is just as important as the technical detail.

The risks of avoiding conversations about wealth 

Despite the role money plays in shaping our lives, many people still find it difficult to talk about. In some cases, there is a reluctance among older generations to discuss wealth with children or grandchildren – often because they want to maintain their independence, or because they worry about creating a sense of entitlement. Others simply don’t feel comfortable revealing the full extent of their wealth.

But putting off these conversations can create more problems in the future. For example, if adult children don’t understand the family’s financial position until after the death of a parent, it can lead to confusion, stress and conflict – all at a time when emotions are already running high. Talking openly about wealth while you’re alive allows you to shape the outcome, manage expectations and pass on your values, not just your money.

That doesn’t mean handing everything over at once. Many clients choose to take a gradual approach, involving younger generations through family foundations, charitable giving, or education trusts. Others structure their estate in a way that provides support while retaining some control. 

How life changes can shift financial priorities

It’s not just inheritance or long-term legacy planning that families need to consider. As life evolves, priorities change – and wealth needs to evolve with it.

One common challenge is care planning. For younger clients, it may not be front of mind, but considering how and where you might want to receive care in later life – and what it might cost – is an important part of building a realistic financial plan. Whether someone wants to stay in their own home or move into a care setting, these choices can have significant financial implications. By modelling different scenarios, financial planners can help clients prepare without sacrificing other goals.

Similarly, for couples who have always managed money separately, life changes such as illness, retirement or relocation may prompt a shift towards managing wealth jointly. This can be a delicate transition, particularly if financial independence has been a long-standing personal value.

Preparing the next generation for wealth and responsibility

Another key consideration is how to prepare the next generation. Many of our clients are first-generation wealth creators. They’ve worked hard to build financial security and they want their children or grandchildren to benefit from it without being disincentivised from forging their own path.

One approach is to involve younger family members in structured conversations about money, investing and values. This could be through regular family meetings, educational sessions, or shared philanthropic projects. Some clients choose to set up charitable foundations or scholarship funds that reflect their personal journey, inviting children to help manage and grow them. Others prefer to support family members indirectly – through trusts or long-term gifts – while continuing to reinforce the importance of independence and responsibility.

Making financial decisions in uncertain times

Recent economic uncertainty has brought financial conversations into sharper focus. Rising interest rates, the cost of living, and concerns about affordability have led many families to reconsider their plans – particularly around mortgages, school fees and day-to-day spending.

It’s common for clients to question whether they should use savings or investments to pay off liabilities, such as a mortgage. While the instinct to reduce debt is understandable, doing so without careful thought can make wealth less flexible in the future. For example, funds used to pay off a mortgage become tied up in property, which may not be easily accessed again. Wealth Planners help clients weigh these trade-offs and understand how each choice fits into their long-term picture.

There’s also growing concern about how political changes might affect tax policy, pensions and wealth transfer. While some uncertainty is inevitable, having a plan in place – and a trusted adviser to help you adjust that plan – can provide reassurance and clarity.

Start the conversation

For many families, the hardest part is simply knowing where to begin. A helpful first step is to focus not on the money itself, but on what it’s there to do. What are your goals for your life – and for the people you love? What values do you want to pass on? What kind of legacy would you be proud of?

You don’t need to be an expert in pensions or investments – that’s our job. But you do need to be part of the conversation. By working together with a Wealth Planner, you can shape a future that reflects not just your financial ambitions, but your personal priorities too.